


And Then the Dog Ate His Heart (Or How Lucas Scott Ruined Jared's Life)

by paragraph (ebcdic)



Series: Lucas Scott [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Babies, Clueless Jared, Domestic Fluff, Househusband Jensen, Humor, M/M, Obsession, Surrogacy, Top Jensen, Writer Jensen, businessman jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 23:38:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10774863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebcdic/pseuds/paragraph
Summary: Jared's boyfriend is obsessed with some show called 'One Tree Hill' and it's giving him some strange ideas. Not to mention ruining Jared's life.





	And Then the Dog Ate His Heart (Or How Lucas Scott Ruined Jared's Life)

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for many plot points in One Tree Hill.

Jared comes home from a long day to find Jensen bundled up on the couch with a pint of Ben&Jerry's Chubby Hubby. He's practically buried under the quilt Jared's Nana made him when he said he bought a house in Chicago and he's got the world's ugliest fuzzy socks on, which Jared can see peeking out from the edge. It's a pretty adorable picture and Jared can't resist leaning down to kiss his cheek.

"Hey, honey," Jared murmurs as he starts loosening his tie.

Jensen kind of absentmindedly kisses Jared back. "Hey."

Frowning slightly, Jared looks to see what's on the TV that has Jensen so engrossed he can't even give Jared a proper welcome home. When he recognizes the show, he groans.

"Please tell me there's dinner in the oven and you didn't spend the whole day watching this."

"Shh." Jensen waves the spoon at him. "Peyton is about to confess she's still in love with Lucas!"

Jared runs a hand down his face. "So, that's a no for dinner."

Jensen makes this kind of near-squealing sound that he usually only makes when Jared rims him. Peyton and Lucas (Jared assumes) are kissing on screen and Jensen is sucking on a spoonful of ice cream and Jared is starving and would really like to beat up Lucas Scott because his boyfriend's obsession with him is ruining Jared's life. 

**

A week later, Jared comes home to find Jensen sobbing on the couch. Immediately he thinks someone's dead or hurt and he grabs Jensen, pulling him into his arms. 

"Baby, what is it?" 

Jensen pulls back a little, his lower lip trembling. "Lucas told Peyton that he hates her."

"Oh." Jared's shoulders slump, defeated. "I thought someone was dead."

"Not yet!" Jensen switches from sad to excited, so fast it gives Jared whiplash. "But Dan only has six months left to live!"

"I meant someone we actually…" Jared trails off when he realizes Jensen is no longer paying attention. He doesn't even bother to ask about dinner.

**

When Sandy catches Jared moping in front of the vending machine, she offers to take Jared out to lunch and of course he's not going to refuse. She's his boss, his best friend and probably the most awesome person on earth who isn't Jensen.

"God, I'm starving," Jared says as he takes a huge bite of hamburger.

Sandy wrinkles her nose a bit. "Yeah, I can see that."

"I've been eating peanut butter sandwiches for dinner," Jared whines. "Jensen doesn't cook anymore."

"Why don't you cook?" she asks as she takes a delicate bite out of a fry.

Jared's brow furrows. "Because I work all day and he wanted to be a housewife… husband. Whatever."

"I thought he wanted to work on his novel."

"Yeah, that too." Jared waves dismissively. "But is it too much to ask to come home to a nice, home-cooked meal? It's not like he's really writing anyway; he's obsessed with that stupid show."

"Ever wonder why?" Sandy arches an eyebrow. "Maybe he's just hungry for a little romance."

"Humph," Jared huffs.

**

Now Sandy's got Jared thinking though and he honestly cannot remember the last time he and Jensen went out to dinner, just the two of them. Or did anything remotely romantic. It's been so comfortable between them since Jensen decided to work from home, so to speak, and that's nice but maybe they do need to shake things up a bit.

So Jared books a weekend trip to a bed and breakfast outside the city and then buys a bouquet of daisies on the way home. He's whistling as he walks in the door. As usual, Jensen is on the couch watching that damned show. And he's crying again. Jared steps in front of the TV and holds out the flowers.

"Hey, gorgeous."

Jensen actually isn’t looking so gorgeous at the moment what with the tears running down his face and the snot and the ugly sweatpants and fuzzy socks. Still, it's Jensen and he could turn green and Jared would probably still find him hot.

"Brooke had to give the baby back," Jensen sniffs. He looks at Jared with big, green eyes. "I want a baby." 

The daisies kind of droop from Jared's hand as he blinks in shock at this unexpected turn of events, "Err?"

"I want a baby," Jensen repeats as he grabs Jared by his tie and drags him closer. "Let's make a baby."

Jared is pretty sure watching this crazy show has caused Jensen to lose his mind. "You mean adopt?"

Jensen rolls his eyes. "Of course. Or get a surrogate." He pouts when Jared just gapes at him. "Don't you want to have a baby with me?"

"Um." Jared's pretty sure there's only one right answer to that question but this is so sudden; he's not ready to be a father. Is he? "I guess we could look into it."

The happy sound Jensen makes at that is almost worth getting his favorite suit ruined by tears and snot.

**

Jared's not entirely sure that Jensen gets the whole sex between men does not make babies thing. Not that he's really complaining about Jensen fucking him through the mattress (or floor or wall or counter or back porch…) at every opportunity. It feels fantastic after their little dry spell. 

"Maybe we'll have a girl," Jensen murmurs against Jared's chest.

"Mmm," Jared murmurs noncommittally, too focused on the feel of Jensen inside of him, the pleasure humming through his veins despite the fact that his body feels worn out after so many rounds.

Jensen leans up over Jared and then pushes his cock deeper. "Love you so much, Jare."

"Love you too," Jared moans as Jensen comes deep inside him.

Maybe there was some kind of male pregnancy plot on that damn show. Jared should really look into that.

**

"Looks like someone got some over the weekend," Sandy catcalls when Jared swings by her office for lunch.

Jared slumps down into the chair in front of her desk and then winces at the bite of pain. "Jensen wants to have a baby."

"You mean, adopt?" Sandy raises and eyebrow as Jared squirms to try to find a more comfortable position.

"Or get me pregnant, I'm not sure which," Jared sighs.

"You both know that's impossible, right?" Sandy asks slowly.

"Oh I know. Jensen, well, he sure was trying hard enough." Jared sighs at his unintentional pun. "You got any Advil?"

Sandy opens a drawer and then tosses the bottle at Jared. "Keep it."

He swallows a couple of pills dry and then tilts his head hopefully at Sandy. "Hey, would you ever consider being our—"

"Finish that sentence and Jensen trying to impregnate you will be the least of your worries," she warns.

Jared shrugs. "It was worth a shot."

**

When Jared comes home to the sound of silence, he immediately panics. Jensen is always watching that horrible show at this time of day now. The TV isn't on and Jensen isn't on the couch and it's just all so wrong that Jared freezes in place for a second before he starts running through the house, calling Jensen's name.

Jensen pops out of the den and blinks at Jared. "What're you yelling for?"

"Usually you're on the couch watching the…" Jared gasps, out of breath. "Never mind."

"So, I found this woman to be our surrogate. We just have to decide if we want to use her eggs or harvested eggs, kind of like at a sperm bank, and then which of us is going to donate as well. She's kind of got my coloring so I was thinking you would donate. That way she'd look like us, what do you think?"

Jared blinks several times as he processes all this information. "So you do know you can't get me pregnant!"

"Uh, yeah." Jensen gives him a funny look. "So, we've got an appointment at the fertility clinic on Monday."

Not all of this is really registering other than the fact that his boyfriend is back to being sane. Jared swoops him up into a tight hug. "It's so good to have you back."

A buzzing sound goes off and Jensen pushes Jared away with a laugh. "Jesus, what has gotten into you? I've got to go check on the roast."

"Roast!" Jared shouts. "We're having a roast!"

"Should it worry me that you're more excited about that than having a baby?" Jensen quirks an eyebrow.

Jared pumps his fist. "A baby and a roast!"

Jensen just shakes his head, a small smile twitching at the corner of his lips.

**

The next year whizzes by between the pregnancy and the baby and everything that entails. Jensen is happily absorbed in painting the nursery and picking out baby clothes and dealing with Jared's mother and so while dinner may not always be waiting on the table, at least that damn show is never on.

Until Jared comes home late one night just in time to see a dog chase after what looks like a human heart on the TV. That level of absurdity can only mean one thing. 

"Hey," Jensen turns and smiles at him over the back of the couch. "Do you think we should get a dog?"


End file.
